I know that none of my students fight, argue or have issues with each other, so I don't know why I'm posting this. But hey - maybe one day you'll be angry at one of your friends. What do you do? I know you naturally want to yell at them, call them names, make fun of them, talk bad bout them to their face or behind their back, you want to complain to your friends about what they are doing, you want revenge.

Guess what - all those are bad options and God actually considers them sin. So maybe someone offended you and sinned against you, but now you just sinned against them and God by responding the wrong way. Bummer. So how does God want you to respond when you are wronged?

Let’s look at Matthew 18:15-17:

1. First, you quietly go to your friend alone to speak the truth in love to them. Tell them why you are upset with them. Try and keep your voice calm and try and give them the benefit of the doubt (that means don't assumed the worst - maybe there is a good explanation for how they acted). If that works – great – you’ve helped your friend and done it in a Godly way by not gossiping about that person. If you start to tell your friends why you are mad at someone before you've talked to them - you've just gossiped - I know it's not easy - but don't talk about your issues with people on facebook or anything - it's wrong to do so.
   
   
   
2. If that doesn’t work you should find a neutral person who loves Jesus that you can bring along. Have your friend explain why they are doing this thing and why it’s ok and next you explain why you think it’s wrong. If the neutral person is Godly then they will agree if it is or isn’t a sin and give good advice. Hopefully that will help to settle the issue. Don't allow your friend to "take sides" - it's not about defending your best friend. Your best friend will be wrong too. So make sure the person is truly neutral or else this step won't work.
   
   
   
3. Finally, if they don’t listen to both of you then you are to let the church know. Tell a youth group leader who will try and talk some reason into this person. Maybe this will show them how serious the situation is and they will change. If they do not then the pastor has the authority to ask them to leave the youth group until their attitude changes – because sin spreads and it would be dangerous to have them around. Make sure you don't have the wrong motives when you tell the church about someone else (and make sure you didn't skip steps one and two). If you are excited that this person might get kicked out...then you yourself are sinning with your heart. Pray for a more loving heart.

Guys - God can help you forgive your friends and can restore a good relationship with them. Nothing is impossible with God. Please allow God to work in your hearts and give your friends some grace. We are all sinners and if we help each other head in the right direction then we are showing each other love.

So lovingly pray about how to handle the conflict that is before you. Pray Pray Pray! Then respond lovingly using these three steps. And make sure that you take the plank out of your own eye before you go around pulling the speck out of other peoples eyes. Don't be a hypocrite.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ THIS ARTICLE: Dealing with Your Anger God's Way

Love you guys - call me if you need help working out these issues with your friends.

God Bless,
Pastor Andy


I wonder if this is how you look to God when you are yelling at your friends?