Come back. I know I’ve already lost you because of the title of this study. You think I’m a big jerk and I don’t want you to have any fun. Here is what I am asking you: Be open to the possibility that there is something better that dating…

I don’t believe dating is sinful
Dating = fast food restaurants, there is something better.

Why I Disagree w/ Dating Before You Are Ready for Marriage:

It’s like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn’t really sure how she feels about the responsibility of holding the rope. Your 10,000 ft. above ground and says “I feel tied down”. That’s something you wish you knew earlier!

The 7 Habits Of Highly Defective Dating

1.        Dating leads to intimacy (heart/physical),
but not necessarily commitment

o         People date to temporarily enjoy the emotional and physical parts of relationships.

2.        Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of relationship

o         If this stage is skipped then lust can become the focus.

3.        Dating often mistakes a physical relationship with love

o         Just because 2 lips have met,
doesn’t mean 2 hearts have.

o         The world’s method of dating is based
mostly on appearance as value.

4.        Dating often isolates people from other important relationships

5.        Dating distracts people from preparing for the future

o         It can distract you from skills God wants you to have: serving, education, etc. You spend countless hours talking, writing, thinking, etc. Miss out on missions…

6.        Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness (poor stewardship of singleness)

7.        Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating other people’s character

o         People can act differently on a date then the
rest of the time.

o         They need to see each other in real life
situations (serving, praying, etc)

I’m In Love! No Your Not:
(It’s Probably “Like” At First Sight, Not “Love”)

·          Love means very different things to people.

·          God’s definition: 1 Cor. 13:4-8, 2 John 1:6a, 1 John 4:16

·          “Falling in love” – compares love to a pit.
“Madly in love” compares love to insanity.

o         These phrases remove our personal responsibility.

o         When God talks about love he says “the cross”
– the truest expression of love. (Ro. 5:8)

o         Love is a Choice: Every emotion in Jesus said no, but he did it anyway, he had control of His love

o         If you can “fall into” love, you can “fall out” of love. I’m glad God doesn’t love like this.

So When Can I Date?

- God asks us to wait. Waiting for God’s timing requires us to trust in God’s goodness. (Proverbs 18:22)

- He denies us things now because he wants to give us better things in the future.(Psalm 84:11)

3 Simple Truths To Help You Adjust Your Attitude
Towards The Timing Of Relationships:

1.        The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Don’t let impatience rob you of singleness.

o         Do you like to wait in line?
Do you cook food in an oven or microwave?

o         Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 –  Our life has seasons with different focuses. Each builds on previous.

o         Don’t do something about your single-hood,
do something with it.

2.        You don’t need to shop for what you can’t afford

o         Dating too early is like going shopping for a new outfit with no money, even if you find the perfect fit, what can you do about it? You can’t get married for years.

o         Intimacy costs commitment, if you can’t pay it then you need to invest more in friendship.

o         We do our future spouse a favor is we don’t shop around early.

3.        Be Content

o         Phil 4:11, 13 – Contentment. Strength.
God is in control - Jeremiah 29:11

True Love Waits

Until you can commit to a long term relationship then dating is a disservice.

Just Friends  - Where is the line between friends and more then friends?

Here are two  important steps in maintaining healthy friendships with those of opposite gender

1.        Understand the difference between friendship and intimacy

o         When dating you are face by face, friends are side by side - share common interests.

2.        Be inclusive, not exclusive

o         Include others, friends and family in fellowship

o         Don’t start with a couple and build,
start with a goal – fellowship/prayer, etc.

Conclusion:

Practice for Marriage? Divorce?

You cannot practice life long commitment in a series of short-term dating. Dating has been described more as practicing for divorce then marriage. Rather focus on life long friendships and family.

Everyone is Dating!

“everyone” around you may be playing the dating game, but at the end of our lives we won’t answer to “everyone”, we will answer to God. And you’ll have to answer to your future husband / wife.

Practice today: Boys: practice loving/serving your future wife by doing that with your mom/sister. Girls: practice loving/serving your future husband by doing that with your dad/brother.  Marriage doesn’t transform us, but acts as a mirror of what we are.

Making the Trade

Willing to break our cultures rule to experience God’s best? Then you need to give God your best.

My dad says, “You can date when you’re married”
 – So how do I find out whom this girl/guy is?

Courtship: This is an appropriate and biblical method of finding out if this is the person God has chosen for you to marry. Some will never call it this because it sounds corny, but they still practice it. I believe you can court when God shows you that you are ready for marriage.

It’ll come quickly…enjoy being your age while you can…or become a Jr. High youth pastor so you can always act like you are 13!